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Accidentally read until daybreak.
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It's the sort of day for the retrospective to-do list.

You do whatever task is in front of you that you can manage, then you right it down and put a tick next to it.

It's surprisingly effective.
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I am ploughing through paperwork.

A few more things to do, and then I can feel smug.
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I am pondering new ways forward.

What horribly interesting times.
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So how are we all doing? I'm jittery.

Also sore. But that's incidental.

And I'm wishing I lived in the country so I could just wander outside in my PJs. Which I do anyway sometimes, but the mismatched nightie and pants combination I'm wearing right now screams "I have given up" a bit too loudly.
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Always bargaining, always tweaking my routine to see if I can't just squeeze a bit more out of life.
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I am totally failing to pull myself together today. I have been overdoing things again. That is all.
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I have a sore right arm from today's paperwork on account of overuse of the touchpad. But it was very absorbing, an entire afternoon disappeared without me noticing.
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Donald MacCampbell, Reading For Enjoyment, A Macfadden Book, 1964.

From "Chapter Two: How to Read."

Restlessness is another of the state which should be overcome before sitting down to read. That predilection commonly known as "the fidgets" is produced by a will that is anything but dormant - a will that cries out like an irritable infant, in protest or longing. In an oversexed woman, it may cry out for a man. In an oversexed man, it may hunger for a woman. Constipation, and the damage it may wreck upon the nervous system, may harass the will into aimless activity... (p. 33)

The person of ordinary endurance.... tires much sooner than the properly trained reader, who keeps his torso in a straight line from shoulder to hip..." (p.34)

The temperature best suited for reading purposes lies somewhere between 68 and 72 degrees: depending on the quality and pressure of one's blood." (p.35).

I had no idea it was so complicated. But he has left out the trouble caused by diarrhoea, I guess that wasn't really an issue in mid-century America.


Oct. 15th, 2016 02:59 pm
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I could have sworn that today I was going to clamber out of bed and continue from where I left off yesterday, but I can't actually remember what I was doing and what would come next.

I was on a roll. Now I am not on a roll.

At some point I will tend to a neglected fishtank, but I think that might be the most I get done.
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I am quite enjoying myself


Pushing stuff around, from here to there. And sometimes, "there" = out.

Points for streamlining and making things more accessible.

(Spurred on by the discovery of enough toothpaste and deodorant to last at least a year, in the back of a cupboard I can't easily get to).


I have also learned, in recent times, to give myself bonus points for putting something appealing/sentimental in a good spot to notice it.

And for occasionally shuffling these things around, so I don't stop noticing them.
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Homecare has been and gone, so the place is back up to scratch again.

It's local election time, and it's a postal vote here, so today my ballot papers arrived. Including statements from all local candidates. I am pleasantly surprised. When I lived over the other side of town, my ex and I used to read out some of the statements to each other for laughs - it seemed like every local obsessive with a grudge took this as a chance to campaign for just about anything that was *not* to do with local issues.

Boyfriend lives in the same area down there - and some of the same nutters are standing again. It's like a special Nutter's Triennial.

But up here in [SrslyNorth] candidates do seem to understand that at the very least, they should mention the name of the local area and what they think should happen here.
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I regret to inform you that I've decided I really need to post and comment here more often.

I think I do better when I check in more than once a day. It's so much nicer here than elsewhere on the internet. It's grounding.

Of course, what with the unfashionableness of DW/LJ now, this means many people will find their reading lists to be full of posts from Yours Truly. I'd apologise, except that I don't think it really matters. I force no one to read this.
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I don't know if I'm any better, but I have eaten, drunk plenty of water, and napped. I'm now back on the couch.

I am feeling calmer and less panicky about the situation at least. But I'm keeping movement to an absolute minimum.

There's food in the fridge. Eldest Brother and GardenGirl were here earlier today (and finished the wicking bed, there will be photos), and Eldest emptied the cat tray for me. (It's supposed to be done by homecare, which I didn't have this week, and it does involve the sort of effort I could normally manage in a pinch but really, not today. And Tuesday was homecare today so the situation was getting a bit urgent).

Boyfriend is probably over tomorrow or Sunday, he'll shop if it needs doing.

Today I was supposed to have both homecare (in lieu of last Tuesday) and my regular scheduled shopping, but they once again couldn't send a regular. And as there was no way I could go the shops myself, I really couldn't trust anyone to go on my behalf other than my regular.

Ditto the housecleaning - I'm just not in a fit state to explain things to randoms.


So there were a few phone calls to and from council. Random people, all working off a computer screen who know nothing about me. And then something magical happened - I got one worker who was trying to nut things out and told me that from now on I was to ask for her directly, and she'd sort things out.

You have no idea how happy this makes me.


Oct. 7th, 2016 01:02 pm
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Really not okay, and very frightened.


Oct. 3rd, 2016 03:44 pm
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I keep feeling like I am surely about to get my period. The anticipation is making me grumpy.

Or possibly, being premenstrual is making me grumpy.

Or maybe it's menopause that's making me grumpy, but I won't know that for several months yet.

I turn 50 in a couple of weeks! FWIW, I feel quite proud of myself.
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I have been sewing. And now that I've had a break, I'm off to do some...sowing.


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December 2016



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