I'm in bed today, which is kind of annoying. Still, my icon is nicely appropriate.
And lots of bits of me are sore too. Moreso than usual. Bah humbug, I say! tenbears
and the visiting beerwulf
are off at General HQ doing stuff that is probably quite interesting, like building bread ovens and medieval-style kitchens, or maybe just patting the delightful if increasingly flatulent Binka
On the plus side, if you were going to have to lose a day tucked away indoors, today isn't a bad one to lose: it's dry and windy and warm outside. Precisely the sort of day I hate. There were a few rolls of thunder pre-dawn, but no rain and very little cloud about now. I'm so bored
with sunny weather. Plain damn bored!
Today's crash results from the 'tired but wired' problem that comes with the ME/CFS. (And yes, I know I used the word 'tired' and if anyone else did I'd jump at them, but um, too bad).
What happens is I'm active, then I simply can't switch off. This become a critical problem if it's still happenning when I try to got to sleep. I'm not anxious, not even thinking too much or thinking about the day I've had. Just not able to go to sleep.
My legs and pelvis were *really* squirmy so I couldn't keep my legs still - Restless Legs Syndrome - but I was too buggered to be up and walking about. (I recently became aware of a conference that was called to discuss just how wrong it is that the medical industry is apparently 'creating' new illnesses, like Restless Legs Syndrome, and I can only assume the conference participants were an extraordinarily lucky bunch of smug healthy bastards who'd I'd happily swap places with anyday. Psycho-social bloody facism, that's what it is I tells ya! Gimme the medicalisation of the things that ail me, then give me the drugs invented to help, and let me get on with my life, please! It terrifies me to think the greatest contribution I make to the world will be being an example of something in someone's stupid unread sociology PhD.)
And my CPAP machine was driving me nuts. I started using it again three nights ago and surprisingly I had zero trouble getting used to it again. But last night, no go. Too sensitive to noise, that fruit peeler in the brain feeling. Ended up trying it with ear plugs at daybreak and dozed for a bit I think, but I didn't seem to lose awareness of it at any point.
I sometimes think that if I could just find a way to switch off after activity, I'd be fine. And I sometimes wonder if we shouldn't describe it as a condition of chronic over-exertion and over alertness. This leads to exhaustion and inability to function well, but does not actually stop, so you're still super alert and aware, but totally useless at the same time because your alertness is going in all the wrong directions and your body and brain is screaming for a break.
Just a thought.
Oh, I did get to introduce beerwulf
to Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels
last night, always satisfying to do that because it's such a great film and it means that I get to sit through it once again. I think he was rather pleased too - last week I made him watch The Thunderbirds
and while he's an insanely polite chap, I'm sure if I'd done that to him again there may have been words. Or more likely he would have excused himself to go to the loo, nipped out the back door and never returned.
Actually I've eased up on watching Thunderbirds
this week and I'm back to trawling my way through Blake's 7
, because I was sick of overdramatic acting and exaggerated facial expressions.
*coughs and moves on*
So since I'm just flopping about in bed today, there may be more posts later. Or not, since I'm really rather floppy and unable to get my shit together.**Yes, totally unneccessary photo link.
This bed smells. Whuf.