splodgenoodles: (Penelope intro)
Not the most useless day I've ever had, if only because I haven't berated myself for doing very little. I should be fine by tomorrow. And then I can tackle the to-do list, woo.

I need to do some cringe-busting.

"Cringe-busting" = doing those tasks that make you cringe when you think of them. They may be big, they may be small. They may be intrinsically scary, or just cringeworthy because they've been on your to-do list for too long.

I got the term from 43 Folders. That entry was written was in 2005 - which I think is when I first read it. But I still use the concept which I think means it wasn't just a fad. Not for me anyway.

So yeah, there's some cringe busting in my future.
splodgenoodles: (Penelope intro)
First day at home for three days. I so needed this.

Mind you, it's also a day full of people. A delivery of gardening supplies, a gardener, home care, and a random dude about a catalogue. And after a night of poor sleep for no apparent reason. And a headache.

So I'm a bit shattered already.

I have a list of phone calls to make, all for different projects, so my need to concentrate is great. Am about to work out which ones are most important and which can be hived off to another day.

On the plus side, that garden delivery was a lined apple crate and the scoria and planting mix, which the awesome garden woman is now setting up.

Now would be a great time to talk to the other owners here about my hopes for the shared garden bed, as one lot of tenants are about to move, but I'm not sure I've got the spoons to do it. Hmm. I think it will be about item #3 on the list. And if I get to item #3, I'll be doing very well indeed.

Later:
I've reshuffled and streamlined. In recent years I've found the Silly Season much easier to deal with if I have no medical appointments, or appointments of any kind that require taxis. Private car or mobility scooter only. And even phone tasks can be tricky because so many people get stressed and weird and are often away anyway. So this mean everything that must be done must, in fact, be done in the next four weeks. And if it can't be done by then, hello January.
splodgenoodles: (Penelope intro)
Oh lordy.

I have a plethora of projects underway at the moment.

Many of them are quite pleasing ones to have. And the pleasing ones are making the other ones more palatable.

But I am aware that I am losing spoons just to the business of juggling them all. Just to keeping track of the various tasks that need doing takes a lot of effort.

Aargh.

My day book is being relied on a great deal, but it just isn't working well enough. I need a day book that does the tasks for me as I write them down.

~~~

One of the projects is the garden and all it requires. GardenWiz is getting me all inspired and much is to happen/be arranged. I wish I'd met her months ago - spring is not actually the best time to be arranging set up and landscaping, it's best done in winter. But a lot of it can still be done even if some things then lie fallow until early next spring. This is, after all, about long term changes and plans.
splodgenoodles: (Lady Penelope's car.)
I want to clean all the things and get everything sorted.

Everything, do you hear me?!

EVERYTHING!

I'm not sure what's bought this on. Experience tells me it will stop soon, and it's probably a good thing dinner is already defrosting in the fridge and only needs a zap in the microwave and there's already a clean bowl and spoon.

So I am carefully assessing my priorities and trying to stay focussed. If I'm going to crash out, I should at least at least stick those cuttings in dirt first, and make sure I have clean underwear.
splodgenoodles: (Default)
Wash? Why? I am staying in and no visitors are expected. Maybe last thing before bed.

Milk can wait until Monday. So can the prednisolone 5mgs. I am on 18 mgs prednisolone at the moment, which means 3x5mg tablets plus 3x1mg tablets. As I have lots of 1mg tablets, tomorrow I'll just take 18 of those. Monday too if needs be. Yes, it is kind of disgusting: prednisolone seems to start dissolving the moment you open your mouth and it always hits the taste buds before it goes down and it tastes horrible. But needs must. I shall cope.

There was still a bit of Rootex left, so spoons went on using the last of that and putting in some cuttings. Also rinsing out the bird bath and an entirely insignificant bit of shuffling with the hose. Need to do more/get the greywater working again - it needs a clean out which I can't do.

Bugger but this is a good garden. And for what it is, it *is* surprisingly low maintenance and flexible in terms of how much you can do in it at different times. Seriously, there are so many so-called 'low maintenance' gardens that are most definitely not - 10B meets them all the time.

Anyhow, bacon can happen later. Or something. Already done home-delivered once this week, so that's out. But point being nothing happens right now 'cos I'm buggered and not moving from here. Semi reclined with laptop and water.

What I really want is a nice soak in a tepid bath. But my bath is full of ergonomically sound bath/shower transfer bench, and I seriously doubt my capacity to get in and out without assistance. (And it's not something my carer would help me with-showers are deemed adequate.)
splodgenoodles: (Lock stock stoner eyes)
So far, I have done my arm excercises, stared at birds and changed the cat litter.

For the rest of Saturday, and maybe Sunday:

-wash.

-go to the shops. Buy milk, prednisolone(5mgs).

-garden shop for "Rootex" hormone rooting gel for cuttings. (I have some of this for myself too, it's awesome. I think mine is made to a different recipe though, because mine costs a lot more and comes from a compounding pharmacy interstate and is called "Androfemme", not "Rootex", but just on price I am tempted to try the plant version).

-do some cuttings.

-learn more about new phone.

-try out photo paper with printer. Print off that Muppets piccie for the toilet wall.

-wash frypan, fry bacon.

-leg excercises.

-empty compost bucket.

-regroup.

-lie down.

-zone out.

-chuck in a Minder DVD and do the accents.

-wash CPAP.
splodgenoodles: (Lady Penelope's car.)
We just walked around the block. I am so unfit. Hard for [livejournal.com profile] tenbears too, but only because he's not used to shambling. He seemed to have trouble knowing where to put his feet because his legs weren't moving far enough.

It kills me that going round the block is such a challenge for me. And that I'm secretly hoping that maybe someday soon I'll be able to do such a walk a couple of times a week with no payback. (Actually, what really kills me is that I assume that being well enough to do that would mean I'd have to get a job, pronto, and I don't feel quite ready...when really, being well enough to walk round the block three times a week hardly equates to being well enough to go to work. Logically speaking, I'm sure I've got a little bit more time before I need to buy an interview outfit. Like maybe, forever.)

~~~

And I've done another Scary Thing, go me. This was made easier when the process of getting it done became so damned fiddly that I wasn't so much anxious about the whole metathinginess of the activity as bored and pissed off and just wanting the fucking thing finished, FFS.

So now it's done.

~~~

Got an email today to tell me that I am not fructose or lactose intolerant, hurrah! Pardon me while I jump into a bath full of CAKE AND WHIPPED CREAM. (Cake containing wheat flour, you see, and wheat apparently being a problem in the fructose thing, believe it or not. Besides, jumping into a bath full of fruit and whipped cream just wouldn't have the same appeal, would it? Cake is much nicer, fruit is dull and unsexy).

~~~

But for those of you who wish I was dead right now (that'll be the folk currently munching on rice cakes and saying they're quite nice once you get used to them to anyone who'll listen), you'll be pleased to know that my cholesterol is still too high and I have to go on medication for it. My attempts to lower it through diet alone (ie-easing up on the cheese and fatty foods - in particular DUCK) only resulted in the levels of good cholesterol going down and the bad cholesterol going up slightly.

I take this as a sign that I should go back to what I was doing with the cheese and fatty foods - in particular DUCK. So if anyone wants me over the next week or so, look for me anywhere that does a nice yum cha.

~~~
splodgenoodles: (Lady Penelope's car.)
We just walked around the block. I am so unfit. Hard for [livejournal.com profile] tenbears too, but only because he's not used to shambling. He seemed to have trouble knowing where to put his feet because his legs weren't moving far enough.

It kills me that going round the block is such a challenge for me. And that I'm secretly hoping that maybe someday soon I'll be able to do such a walk a couple of times a week with no payback. (Actually, what really kills me is that I assume that being well enough to do that would mean I'd have to get a job, pronto, and I don't feel quite ready...when really, being well enough to walk round the block three times a week hardly equates to being well enough to go to work. Logically speaking, I'm sure I've got a little bit more time before I need to buy an interview outfit. Like maybe, forever.)

~~~

And I've done another Scary Thing, go me. This was made easier when the process of getting it done became so damned fiddly that I wasn't so much anxious about the whole metathinginess of the activity as bored and pissed off and just wanting the fucking thing finished, FFS.

So now it's done.

~~~

Got an email today to tell me that I am not fructose or lactose intolerant, hurrah! Pardon me while I jump into a bath full of CAKE AND WHIPPED CREAM. (Cake containing wheat flour, you see, and wheat apparently being a problem in the fructose thing, believe it or not. Besides, jumping into a bath full of fruit and whipped cream just wouldn't have the same appeal, would it? Cake is much nicer, fruit is dull and unsexy).

~~~

But for those of you who wish I was dead right now (that'll be the folk currently munching on rice cakes and saying they're quite nice once you get used to them to anyone who'll listen), you'll be pleased to know that my cholesterol is still too high and I have to go on medication for it. My attempts to lower it through diet alone (ie-easing up on the cheese and fatty foods - in particular DUCK) only resulted in the levels of good cholesterol going down and the bad cholesterol going up slightly.

I take this as a sign that I should go back to what I was doing with the cheese and fatty foods - in particular DUCK. So if anyone wants me over the next week or so, look for me anywhere that does a nice yum cha.

~~~
splodgenoodles: (Default)
In my endless quest to discover the formula for the perfectly well balanced lifestyle, I am trying to do scary things. Cringe jobs.

Well, some of them aren't even 'jobs' as such - they are activities that I think I'll enjoy but about which I am nervous.

Normally, I'd make a list. This time, not so much. After all, if I make a list, then I'll have to admit that they are things that I want to do and am afraid to do, and therefore won't be able to avoid with a plausible reason.

And I sure as hell won't be telling you lot what they all are, although most of you reading this far can probably guess at some of them.

So my plan at the moment is one scary thing a day. Mind you, looking at the list that I don't have, that means my life should be sorted by Friday.

But only because I become a gibbering wreck by the time I'm down to number 4. My god it's a scary, scary world.

The idea of having my life sorted is kind of wigging me out in itself beause then I'll have no excuse for being the underachiever that I am. And then I'll have to do all those other things that aren't on the list because it doesn't exist and because I start gibbering when I get beyond four items because it's all one big scary mess. And because they aren't so high on the list, I can't possibly be so scared of them and therefore should be able to handle them with great aplomb, which I don't think I can possiby do.

For some reason, I imagine myself (ideally) as a big cheerful and charismatic bloke, someone who probably owns a cafe or something and loves it and is loved by all his customers. Self actualised, and all that. Simply doing what appeals to him and life and doing it so well it *is* his life. He cheerfully and happily does all the things I want to be able to do, just as a daily thing. And successfully too.

~~~

FWIW, I don't imagine him doing two-handed stranded colour knitting (at leaast I haven't before). That's because even though it challenges me, annoys me and also makes me happy when I've got it right or am simply zoning out on it, knitting is not on the list that does not exist.
splodgenoodles: (Default)
In my endless quest to discover the formula for the perfectly well balanced lifestyle, I am trying to do scary things. Cringe jobs.

Well, some of them aren't even 'jobs' as such - they are activities that I think I'll enjoy but about which I am nervous.

Normally, I'd make a list. This time, not so much. After all, if I make a list, then I'll have to admit that they are things that I want to do and am afraid to do, and therefore won't be able to avoid with a plausible reason.

And I sure as hell won't be telling you lot what they all are, although most of you reading this far can probably guess at some of them.

So my plan at the moment is one scary thing a day. Mind you, looking at the list that I don't have, that means my life should be sorted by Friday.

But only because I become a gibbering wreck by the time I'm down to number 4. My god it's a scary, scary world.

The idea of having my life sorted is kind of wigging me out in itself beause then I'll have no excuse for being the underachiever that I am. And then I'll have to do all those other things that aren't on the list because it doesn't exist and because I start gibbering when I get beyond four items because it's all one big scary mess. And because they aren't so high on the list, I can't possibly be so scared of them and therefore should be able to handle them with great aplomb, which I don't think I can possiby do.

For some reason, I imagine myself (ideally) as a big cheerful and charismatic bloke, someone who probably owns a cafe or something and loves it and is loved by all his customers. Self actualised, and all that. Simply doing what appeals to him and life and doing it so well it *is* his life. He cheerfully and happily does all the things I want to be able to do, just as a daily thing. And successfully too.

~~~

FWIW, I don't imagine him doing two-handed stranded colour knitting (at leaast I haven't before). That's because even though it challenges me, annoys me and also makes me happy when I've got it right or am simply zoning out on it, knitting is not on the list that does not exist.
splodgenoodles: (Default)
Months and months and months ago, I wrote all those things I keep meaning to do on little bits of paper, folded them and put them in a jug.

The plan was that henceforth, when capable of activiey but unable to get past my pathological twitchiness and indecision, I would stick my hand into the jug, pull something out and do it.

Needless to say, there's nothing like the threat of having to do this to keep you happily occupied. Until today that is, when stress and prednisolone had me doing it for what I think is the very first time.

Am happy to report that the first item had already been long since dealt with, so it got thrown out.

The second item seemed entirely redundant.

But the third item was done. Not done well, but that wasn't the point. The process was good and I feel better for having done it. In fact there was no way this particular activity was going to be well done given the lapse in time since I did it last...which is why it had, in fact, long since drifted into the too hard basket. But now I've done it, who knows, maybe I'll do it again sooner.

The second item, on reflection, is not redundant and shall be revisited shortly. It's just that it's neither urgent nor scary. So in fact it's probably a good thing to be doing now I've done one scary thing for the day.

Or I might just have a little rest...
splodgenoodles: (Default)
Months and months and months ago, I wrote all those things I keep meaning to do on little bits of paper, folded them and put them in a jug.

The plan was that henceforth, when capable of activiey but unable to get past my pathological twitchiness and indecision, I would stick my hand into the jug, pull something out and do it.

Needless to say, there's nothing like the threat of having to do this to keep you happily occupied. Until today that is, when stress and prednisolone had me doing it for what I think is the very first time.

Am happy to report that the first item had already been long since dealt with, so it got thrown out.

The second item seemed entirely redundant.

But the third item was done. Not done well, but that wasn't the point. The process was good and I feel better for having done it. In fact there was no way this particular activity was going to be well done given the lapse in time since I did it last...which is why it had, in fact, long since drifted into the too hard basket. But now I've done it, who knows, maybe I'll do it again sooner.

The second item, on reflection, is not redundant and shall be revisited shortly. It's just that it's neither urgent nor scary. So in fact it's probably a good thing to be doing now I've done one scary thing for the day.

Or I might just have a little rest...
splodgenoodles: (This world is too confusing.)
Yeah, I've been staring at one of my bookshelves again.

I have so many interesting books on so many interesting and useful topics! From the sublimely intellectual, to the inspiringly beautiful and fantastic right through to the delightfully practical. I have them all.

~~~

I've even got a fine collection of highly thought-of books on how to manage chronic illness that I haven't read yet.

I'm glad I noticed these ones during my bookshelf-staring session, because just before New Year's (when I'd decided that in 2010 I'll drastically reduce spending on books) I had my last internet binge and bought what I believe could be a really useful and relevant book on how to make the most of what brainpower you have. (It's called "Mind Perfomance hacks" or something).

Now, at the very least, I know where I can put in when it arrives.

~~~

OH dear. Bugger the list, I feel a profound need to lie down with a pillow over my head.
splodgenoodles: (This world is too confusing.)
Yeah, I've been staring at one of my bookshelves again.

I have so many interesting books on so many interesting and useful topics! From the sublimely intellectual, to the inspiringly beautiful and fantastic right through to the delightfully practical. I have them all.

~~~

I've even got a fine collection of highly thought-of books on how to manage chronic illness that I haven't read yet.

I'm glad I noticed these ones during my bookshelf-staring session, because just before New Year's (when I'd decided that in 2010 I'll drastically reduce spending on books) I had my last internet binge and bought what I believe could be a really useful and relevant book on how to make the most of what brainpower you have. (It's called "Mind Perfomance hacks" or something).

Now, at the very least, I know where I can put in when it arrives.

~~~

OH dear. Bugger the list, I feel a profound need to lie down with a pillow over my head.
splodgenoodles: (Default)
Okay...It's Tuesday, I don't feel like shit, but I'm still in PJs and don't feel like doing much about that. I'm okay in the 'sitting on the couch staring at nothing' level of okay.

Although a shower or bath would be prudent. And must pill cat, wash CPAP machine.

Little things I could possibly do without fucking things up but that are a little bit more satisfying than staring at the screen without thinking:
-upload photos for a proper post, and post 'em.
-tidy up photo folder.
-send stuff to health fund.
-pay bills.
-order seeds.
-just lie down for a while.
splodgenoodles: (Default)
Okay...It's Tuesday, I don't feel like shit, but I'm still in PJs and don't feel like doing much about that. I'm okay in the 'sitting on the couch staring at nothing' level of okay.

Although a shower or bath would be prudent. And must pill cat, wash CPAP machine.

Little things I could possibly do without fucking things up but that are a little bit more satisfying than staring at the screen without thinking:
-upload photos for a proper post, and post 'em.
-tidy up photo folder.
-send stuff to health fund.
-pay bills.
-order seeds.
-just lie down for a while.
splodgenoodles: (Default)
And to prove it, here's my very, very boring to-do list for the week. My pre-menstrual energy surge appears to be happening this month, so some of them may actually get done.

1. Mix up some suitable growing medium so I can move my guava seedlings up from their little jiffy pots. Really must do this ASAP.

2. Ring pharmacy for receipts, send to health fund.

3. Sort out bloody Norton Internet Security, properly this time.

4. Get some more seeds.

5. Whimper about the number of moths flying round the house all of a sudden and pray my anti-moth measures (involving millions of zip-lock bags for balls of wool and as much lavender, velvet soap and cedar balls as I can cram in about the place) are actually effective. Try not to look - it's too late now and any damage has been done.

6. See brain-care specialist on Thursday, massage therapist on Friday.

7. Continue hiding from world until life seems less ghastly.

8. Squeeze myself some fresh orange juice every now and again.

9. Book in to see eye specialist: I'm sick of my left eye constantly tearing up. It's embarrassing and inconvenient. Something must be done.

10. Find the joie-de-vivre fairy and pull off her wings.

11. Iron red skirt.

12. Sew lining into crocheted bag.

13. Make something out of wire. I do have some, after all.

14. Desperately attempt to rediscover a sense of purpose and inspiration.

15. Consider running away from home and joining circus as "Splozza the Slouching Sloucher" or similar.

16. Realise my fantasies are sad and farcical, binge on chocolate and diazepam. Consider smoking a pipe.

17. Finish that shawl I've been working on for over a year now, tell myself it really matters.

18. Smile at dogs and cats when I see them, get a few good sniffs of my freesias before they turn up their toes for the year.

19. Water garden on Tuesday morning and apply more of the assorted feeds. Plant a few sweet peas along the front fence.

20. Do not have a personal crisis. Oh, wait...
splodgenoodles: (Default)
And to prove it, here's my very, very boring to-do list for the week. My pre-menstrual energy surge appears to be happening this month, so some of them may actually get done.

1. Mix up some suitable growing medium so I can move my guava seedlings up from their little jiffy pots. Really must do this ASAP.

2. Ring pharmacy for receipts, send to health fund.

3. Sort out bloody Norton Internet Security, properly this time.

4. Get some more seeds.

5. Whimper about the number of moths flying round the house all of a sudden and pray my anti-moth measures (involving millions of zip-lock bags for balls of wool and as much lavender, velvet soap and cedar balls as I can cram in about the place) are actually effective. Try not to look - it's too late now and any damage has been done.

6. See brain-care specialist on Thursday, massage therapist on Friday.

7. Continue hiding from world until life seems less ghastly.

8. Squeeze myself some fresh orange juice every now and again.

9. Book in to see eye specialist: I'm sick of my left eye constantly tearing up. It's embarrassing and inconvenient. Something must be done.

10. Find the joie-de-vivre fairy and pull off her wings.

11. Iron red skirt.

12. Sew lining into crocheted bag.

13. Make something out of wire. I do have some, after all.

14. Desperately attempt to rediscover a sense of purpose and inspiration.

15. Consider running away from home and joining circus as "Splozza the Slouching Sloucher" or similar.

16. Realise my fantasies are sad and farcical, binge on chocolate and diazepam. Consider smoking a pipe.

17. Finish that shawl I've been working on for over a year now, tell myself it really matters.

18. Smile at dogs and cats when I see them, get a few good sniffs of my freesias before they turn up their toes for the year.

19. Water garden on Tuesday morning and apply more of the assorted feeds. Plant a few sweet peas along the front fence.

20. Do not have a personal crisis. Oh, wait...
splodgenoodles: (Default)
I really hope this is a once off. )

Today I was planning to do a spot of cringe-busting and was actually looking forward to it. Cringe-busting means doing a couple of those jobs that make you cringe, usually not because the tasks themselves are really any problem, just because they've been sitting around on the list for too long. I suppose I *might* have had issues with this, except that I was really looking forward to getting them off the list.

In fact, I've been rather enjoying doing this lately. It tends to happen when I have a good spell. These days I'm generally really keen to get things sorted, to do things that make life easier when I've got the chance.

Needless to say, I've done neither job, nor any of the tasks that I very quickly (once again) started to take for granted as tasks that I can do every day without fanfare.

And I could really go a bath but I don't have the beans. I want to wash my hair but it involves lifting arms above head.

Well. There's always tomorrow.

PS.: No helpful advice on how to manage this is required, thanks.
PPS: Got the hair washed. Clean now. Still feel like garbage though.
splodgenoodles: (Default)
I really hope this is a once off. )

Today I was planning to do a spot of cringe-busting and was actually looking forward to it. Cringe-busting means doing a couple of those jobs that make you cringe, usually not because the tasks themselves are really any problem, just because they've been sitting around on the list for too long. I suppose I *might* have had issues with this, except that I was really looking forward to getting them off the list.

In fact, I've been rather enjoying doing this lately. It tends to happen when I have a good spell. These days I'm generally really keen to get things sorted, to do things that make life easier when I've got the chance.

Needless to say, I've done neither job, nor any of the tasks that I very quickly (once again) started to take for granted as tasks that I can do every day without fanfare.

And I could really go a bath but I don't have the beans. I want to wash my hair but it involves lifting arms above head.

Well. There's always tomorrow.

PS.: No helpful advice on how to manage this is required, thanks.
PPS: Got the hair washed. Clean now. Still feel like garbage though.

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