Jun. 13th, 2007

Manic.

Jun. 13th, 2007 03:52 pm
splodgenoodles: (Basil Fawlty)
I am overcompensating for my total lack of control over my life by doing all the laundry in the entire world instead.

I try and alternate between tumbledryable loads and drip dries, that way you have less down time while you're waiting for the last load to dry and no, I can't use the clothesline.

It's amazing how the job never actually ends. There is always more laundry to do. Happily, most everyday items that needed washing have gone through and I'm now on to doing particularly satisfying loads of things that sit in the basket for years because they aren't needed and/or they're complicated in some way. They're the sorts of things that only resurface every 18 months or so at about 6 in the afternoon on a Saturday when you're wondering where that nice white shirt has gone, you know, the one you bought only for special occasions like the one you're due at in 45 minutes.

I can't find the Preen (fancy shmancy stuff for the aforementioned white shirt) and very nearly used window cleaner instead, on account of the bottles being almost identical. It wouldn't have mattered too much: it's 10B's shirt, last worn 5 months ago, so he wouldn't notice for another 13 months and I'm sure I could come up with a good explanation for the damage between now and then.

Hell, by then I could tell him *he* did it while I stood there begging him not to.

And now I'm wondering why the hell we have window cleaner on the edge of the bath. Seriously, we do. That's where I found it when I was looking for the Preen.

I guess if I ever finish the laundry I could do a household chemical spraybottle audit. I could map where I've found them and then allocate new, appropriate homes for them all. I may find the Preen this way too, which would be a bonus. And it would be nice to have the rat poison not quite so close to the pine-o-cleen that we use all the time.

But I doubt I will, I doubt I could. I'm increasingly convinced there's no end in sight to the laundry project and it's starting to fail in it's assigned task of giving me a sense of effectiveness and control. As some point I have to reach a major goal.

It doesn't help that 10B is sabotaging me by refusing to go to work naked.

I think he could make more money that way but he says no, in the winter...not quite so much. I mean, he'd still make plenty of course, but we aim to be stinking rich, not just rich, and we don't want to undervalue the product in the meanwhile.



I must go, the washing machine beckons.

Manic.

Jun. 13th, 2007 03:52 pm
splodgenoodles: (Basil Fawlty)
I am overcompensating for my total lack of control over my life by doing all the laundry in the entire world instead.

I try and alternate between tumbledryable loads and drip dries, that way you have less down time while you're waiting for the last load to dry and no, I can't use the clothesline.

It's amazing how the job never actually ends. There is always more laundry to do. Happily, most everyday items that needed washing have gone through and I'm now on to doing particularly satisfying loads of things that sit in the basket for years because they aren't needed and/or they're complicated in some way. They're the sorts of things that only resurface every 18 months or so at about 6 in the afternoon on a Saturday when you're wondering where that nice white shirt has gone, you know, the one you bought only for special occasions like the one you're due at in 45 minutes.

I can't find the Preen (fancy shmancy stuff for the aforementioned white shirt) and very nearly used window cleaner instead, on account of the bottles being almost identical. It wouldn't have mattered too much: it's 10B's shirt, last worn 5 months ago, so he wouldn't notice for another 13 months and I'm sure I could come up with a good explanation for the damage between now and then.

Hell, by then I could tell him *he* did it while I stood there begging him not to.

And now I'm wondering why the hell we have window cleaner on the edge of the bath. Seriously, we do. That's where I found it when I was looking for the Preen.

I guess if I ever finish the laundry I could do a household chemical spraybottle audit. I could map where I've found them and then allocate new, appropriate homes for them all. I may find the Preen this way too, which would be a bonus. And it would be nice to have the rat poison not quite so close to the pine-o-cleen that we use all the time.

But I doubt I will, I doubt I could. I'm increasingly convinced there's no end in sight to the laundry project and it's starting to fail in it's assigned task of giving me a sense of effectiveness and control. As some point I have to reach a major goal.

It doesn't help that 10B is sabotaging me by refusing to go to work naked.

I think he could make more money that way but he says no, in the winter...not quite so much. I mean, he'd still make plenty of course, but we aim to be stinking rich, not just rich, and we don't want to undervalue the product in the meanwhile.



I must go, the washing machine beckons.
splodgenoodles: (Lock stock stoner eyes)
The other day I invited people to ask anything about me that they'd always wanted to know but were too afraid to ask. You're still welcome to ask and the comments on the original post are screened if you fancy a bit of privacy. However, as explained there, my answers to you will not be screened.

Here are my answers thus far.


1. The above icon was made by [livejournal.com profile] mimisoliel from the film Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels which is something of a favourite of mine. So alas, they aren't my eyes. (My eyes are a very dark brown and very pleasing, according to 10B.)

[livejournal.com profile] mimisoleil posts icons in [Bad username or site: 40k films @ livejournal.com]. She also did the Basil Fawlty icon and the two animated Lady Penelope ones.

Oh and I know you were only joking, but I'm a libra. ;)

~~~

2. I'm not Vietnamese nor do I have family living there. I'm just lucky enough to live in Melbourne, which means pho pho pho!

~~~

3. I vote for TV. But in between the ad breaks I can mention that I got ME/CFS very suddenly on 14 August 1998. That's the short version.

Curiously, in 1986 I developed a chronic pain problem that lasted for about 2-3 years, which now appears to have been a variant of the ME/CFS problem I've got now (only nowhere near as bad) or possibly an obscure manifestation of Crohn's Disease. It had similar features to Fibromyalgia and ME: a pain response to exertion totally out of synch with the amount of exertion. However, it was confined to the upper body. There were very clear areas of inflammation.

I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease aged 24 ish, in about 1990, probably had been sick a few years before that. From what I've learnt since, it seems I may have had it since childhood. However, after diagnosis I went on maintenance medication and had the healthiest years of my life.

But after those wonderfully healthy years things went into a decline. In the two years (or more) prior to the ME/CFS collapse of 14 August 1998, I'd been finding that even though I excercised diligently I never seemed to show any response to it. I'd been very fit in my mid to late 20's and when I focussed on any given activity my body would improve, like it's supposed to. But from about age 29-30, it seemed that my body just didn't notice excercise anymore. A 10 week gym programme was just as hard at week 10 as at week 1.

So although I divide my life up into 'before 14 August 1998' and 'after 14 August 1998', the story isn't all that simple. It's just that that's when I went from having a career to being a recluse, from exerting myself with gusto to struggling with the basics, from having one illness I could minimise(Crohn's Disease) to having one that is unknown and has put me on a very different trajectory to that of my peers. From being on my feet all day (by choice) to in bed (no choice), from going to drawing classes twice a week to not being able to comprehend the idea of images at all.

From being a perpetual smart arse who always had a witty riposte to someone who couldn't think her way out of a paper bag.

Things picked up from about 2002-2004 although never to a level where I could work or study. The best I managed in that time was to see friends regularly, look after myself, and at one stage I was able to sporadically attend a drawing class. In 2005 things started going downhill again and Spring 2005 saw me bed bound. I am still not back to where I was prior to 2005.

It was about 9 months from collapse to diagnosis for me. It was a harrowing time and my narrative is similar to that of other CFSers: becoming sick, assuming that one will be treated well, finding nothing wrong but not getting better, increasing alienation, loss of dignity, being misunderstood, mistreated, coming under suspicion and having one's integrity questioned, enduring the punitive and idiotic responses of people who should have known better (including oneself). Planning constantly for recovery to a level that never actually happens, finally realising you can no longer assume such recovery will happen and trying to readjust. Having to deal with other peoples' issues and opinions about what constitutes a successful and appropriate response.

There remains a possibility that I don't have ME/CFS. It is, after all, a diagnosis of exclusion but since that diagnosis was made it's been confirmed that I do have extra-intestinal manifestations of Crohn's Disease, so maybe many of my symptoms can be attributed to that. It's also become increasingly apparent just how nasty the drugs used to treat it can be too.

Now let's watch TV.:-)
splodgenoodles: (Lock stock stoner eyes)
The other day I invited people to ask anything about me that they'd always wanted to know but were too afraid to ask. You're still welcome to ask and the comments on the original post are screened if you fancy a bit of privacy. However, as explained there, my answers to you will not be screened.

Here are my answers thus far.


1. The above icon was made by [livejournal.com profile] mimisoliel from the film Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels which is something of a favourite of mine. So alas, they aren't my eyes. (My eyes are a very dark brown and very pleasing, according to 10B.)

[livejournal.com profile] mimisoleil posts icons in [Bad username or site: 40k films @ livejournal.com]. She also did the Basil Fawlty icon and the two animated Lady Penelope ones.

Oh and I know you were only joking, but I'm a libra. ;)

~~~

2. I'm not Vietnamese nor do I have family living there. I'm just lucky enough to live in Melbourne, which means pho pho pho!

~~~

3. I vote for TV. But in between the ad breaks I can mention that I got ME/CFS very suddenly on 14 August 1998. That's the short version.

Curiously, in 1986 I developed a chronic pain problem that lasted for about 2-3 years, which now appears to have been a variant of the ME/CFS problem I've got now (only nowhere near as bad) or possibly an obscure manifestation of Crohn's Disease. It had similar features to Fibromyalgia and ME: a pain response to exertion totally out of synch with the amount of exertion. However, it was confined to the upper body. There were very clear areas of inflammation.

I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease aged 24 ish, in about 1990, probably had been sick a few years before that. From what I've learnt since, it seems I may have had it since childhood. However, after diagnosis I went on maintenance medication and had the healthiest years of my life.

But after those wonderfully healthy years things went into a decline. In the two years (or more) prior to the ME/CFS collapse of 14 August 1998, I'd been finding that even though I excercised diligently I never seemed to show any response to it. I'd been very fit in my mid to late 20's and when I focussed on any given activity my body would improve, like it's supposed to. But from about age 29-30, it seemed that my body just didn't notice excercise anymore. A 10 week gym programme was just as hard at week 10 as at week 1.

So although I divide my life up into 'before 14 August 1998' and 'after 14 August 1998', the story isn't all that simple. It's just that that's when I went from having a career to being a recluse, from exerting myself with gusto to struggling with the basics, from having one illness I could minimise(Crohn's Disease) to having one that is unknown and has put me on a very different trajectory to that of my peers. From being on my feet all day (by choice) to in bed (no choice), from going to drawing classes twice a week to not being able to comprehend the idea of images at all.

From being a perpetual smart arse who always had a witty riposte to someone who couldn't think her way out of a paper bag.

Things picked up from about 2002-2004 although never to a level where I could work or study. The best I managed in that time was to see friends regularly, look after myself, and at one stage I was able to sporadically attend a drawing class. In 2005 things started going downhill again and Spring 2005 saw me bed bound. I am still not back to where I was prior to 2005.

It was about 9 months from collapse to diagnosis for me. It was a harrowing time and my narrative is similar to that of other CFSers: becoming sick, assuming that one will be treated well, finding nothing wrong but not getting better, increasing alienation, loss of dignity, being misunderstood, mistreated, coming under suspicion and having one's integrity questioned, enduring the punitive and idiotic responses of people who should have known better (including oneself). Planning constantly for recovery to a level that never actually happens, finally realising you can no longer assume such recovery will happen and trying to readjust. Having to deal with other peoples' issues and opinions about what constitutes a successful and appropriate response.

There remains a possibility that I don't have ME/CFS. It is, after all, a diagnosis of exclusion but since that diagnosis was made it's been confirmed that I do have extra-intestinal manifestations of Crohn's Disease, so maybe many of my symptoms can be attributed to that. It's also become increasingly apparent just how nasty the drugs used to treat it can be too.

Now let's watch TV.:-)

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